Candid Thoughts

4.06.2012

This picture/pose is entirely awkward, but I kind of like it.
Jacket, Necklace: LOFT. Shirt: TJMaxx. Skinnies: Anthropologie. Flats: F21. Nails: Essie, Turquoise & Caicos.

Self-entitlement:
The belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privilege; feeling that one deserves more than one actually does.

Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? I deserve it.

Above are frequent thoughts I find scrolling through my mind on an unfortunately regular basis. After many recent hours devoted to introspection, I have come to the self realization that I have a problem with self-entitlement. Personally, I think it is a byproduct of being a white, middle class American. It's easy to do. Instead of focusing on the abundance of blessings I've been given and the very fortunate circumstances I live in, somehow the narcissist in me sneaks its way to the top. Isn't that what self entitlement is? Thinking you deserve every last thing in the world because you consider yourself awesome enough for the world to be indebted to you for simply existing?

Honestly, I think it's something many young people my age suffer from. Am I being too harsh? Where do we draw the line from living comfortably with little luxuries because we work hard for it, versus living beyond our means and obsessing over having everything which defines a life of luxury? 

It's a tangled web. I go on ranting about everything I lack, only to remember there are people in the world being murdered, trafficked, starved, and oppressed. As cliche as that may be, it exists, which is followed by a terrible feeling of guilt for being such a selfish twit. The guilt and sadness generally create a 2-4 week period of being gracious and thankful, but that eventually seeps through the cracks of self-entitlement. And there I find myself back at the epicenter of self pity.

Pride is the basis for all the negative things that generally occur within our consciousness, right? Think about it. Greed, hate, addiction, selfishness, self-entitlement... it all relates to pride. 

 It's time for me to quit with the rather largely inflated sense of self, and just look for the beautiful that my life is filled with to capacity. 

I've been endowed with the gift of being a mother to a precious little boy. I am the wife to a truly extraordinary man. I possess a healthy body that allows me to function and express my talents. I go to sleep every night in a comfortable bed with a full stomach, and wake to the gorgeous sunshine every day in a land where I am free. 

A genuine, consistent change of attitude starts today.

20 comments:

  1. Oh my word. This post essentially highlighted my thoughts as of late. You know what? The more I have been blogging {I'm new at this!!!} and pinteresting and such, the more I see everyone having these totally awesome things and I am left thinking, "I want that, too!" My husband pointed this out to me, stating, "Honey, I love you, but you have been saying 'I want" A LOT lately." I didn't even notice it until THEN. How sad. Because of this, I too, have been trying to make some changes and to be more thankful for what I have, like one AMAZING family, my health and so on. Well, thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel like I'm not alone!

    ox, amanda

    http://mamawatters.blogspot.com

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  2. you know, it is not always easy to stay positive, but if you do you will always be happier .... your outfit is really great!
    jess
    JESS CAUSE BLOG

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  3. I really enjoy this. I know the feeling, and have been aware of them...but have never made a conscious decision to change the attitude. You've inspired me, for sure. I love the outfit...and I also am changing that attitude today! Wow...I seriously feel a little lighter right now...weird...

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  4. I do the exact same thing - it's something that I really need to work on. Thanks for the reminder.
    And... you look cute. :)

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  6. I recently moved from the Midwest to LA, and it is so difficult to not get caught up in that web of 'I deserve this. I deserve that' when you are surrounded but sucessful, wealthy people all the time. I have to hold on to my roots and remember I moved here to learn more about myself and explore the city, NOT to get a big head and want everything in sight!

    www.thewayiliveblog.blogspot.com

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  7. Beautiful beautiful thoughts! And ones I can relate too all to well. Here's to moving on and counting our blessings...daily.

    Have a great weekend!

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  8. I think it is really easy to have moments like that. Sometimes we always want more instead of realizing what we have already. Definitely some interesting things to think about. Thank you for this post. You look beautiful as well. I love the cut of that top!
    the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

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  9. i wrote a lot about the very same thing yesterday. i don't know if i've finally managed to open my eyes, during the process of preparing my heart for easter, and see how entitled i think i am all the time, but it was a kick in the shins for sure.

    i've gotta work on it.

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  10. I struggle with this all the time, too! Thanks for the reminder :)

    Rachel
    http://www.howboutsomecake.wordpress.com

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  11. I just love your bangs, girl!!

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  12. How stinking adorable are you? I lov your bangs, I wish when I tried them they came out looking like this! I also am totally obsessed with that essie color too!

    XO,
    Erin
    erinscurrentlycoveting.blogspot.com

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  13. LOVE your nails! and I like your first picure, I think you great!

    Xoxo
    defense mechanisms

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  14. Wonderful thoughts, I definitely struggle with the same thing.

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  15. Oh yes, it's so easy to forget what we already have when we keep on wanting other things. Very well said :)

    xo,
    janmloves.blogspot.com

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  16. So often I think "Ah i want that shirt so bad!" Subconsciously, I am telling myself that I won't be happy until I have the next THING. When really, I need to be happy with what I do have. BEcause i truly have so much.
    Love your blog. Love your clothes. Love this post.
    xo,
    Sierra
    Oh, Just Living the Dream

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  17. love everything! would you enjoy following each other? kisses

    FashionSpot.ro

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  18. glad you got those shoes too! they are the best!

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  19. I have been there moaning that I don't have x or y or z. And then the shame engulfs me and I stop.

    But lately I have been making a reall efforet to be thankful and appreciate everything I have and it is going better than I thought it would but probably not as well as it should ;)

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